No frills airlines will get your money
My fair means or by
foul
This may mean them
charging you
If you need a paper
towel
Or if decompression
occurs
And the oxygen mask is
hanging there
You will have to put a
pound coin in
Before it dispenses
any air
Black spot-on roses and fingerless mittens
Green stinging nettles
and flea ridden kittens
All creepy crawlies
and insects with wings
These are a few of my
un-favourite things
When my back aches
When my head spins
When I’m fighting mad
I just remember my
un-favourite things,
And then I feel twice as bad.
Girls in tight
trousers too small for their arses
People pretending that
they don’t wear glasses
Long bitter winters
and damp dismal springs
These are a few of my
un-favourite things
When my back aches
When my head spins
When I’m fighting mad
I just remember my
un-favourite things,
And then I feel twice as bad.
People who talk while
I’m watching the telly
Women who show off too
much of their bellies
Anyone who whistles
and tunelessly sings
These are a few of my
un-favorite things
When my back aches
When my head spins
When I’m fighting mad
I just remember my
un-favourite things,
And then I feel twice as bad.
Ring-a-Ring o'Rosies
A Pocket full of Posies
“Pig flu! Pig flu!”
We all take a sickie!
Can you imagine what it would be like?
To live on a housing estate
And be permanently ill
at ease
Feeling your
neighbours hate
Not just occasional
hatred
But every day for
sixty years
Each successive act of
hate
Designed to optimise
your fears
Can you imagine what
it would be like?
To fear not just for
your own life
But to be fearful for
the safety
Of your children and
your wife
Having to be always
vigilant
Trying to anticipate
their acts of spite
Surrounded by a sea of
bile
For six decades
without respite
Can you imagine what
it would be like?
To know all your neighbour’s
want your death
Want to eradicate you
from existence
To squeeze from you
your dying breath
If you can imagine
this kind of life
And feel that bitter
hatred daily
Then you should
perhaps understand
How it feels to be an
Israeli
At premature ejaculators anonymous
I sat all alone in the
meeting room
And I pondered my
solitary situation
And concluded that I
just came too soon
I like Germany
I like the Germans
I have friends there
I worked for a time
near Frankfurt
And I visit Berlin
often
It’s my favourite city
They are nice people
Friendly and welcoming
They share our hopes
And our aspirations
We are so alike
We have always been
alike
Well almost always
There were dark days
When they were seduced
by evil
And let themselves
down
So what happened?
What infected this nation?
This nation so like
ourselves
How did the madness
take them?
Why did they become
inhuman?
Why did they set a new
benchmark?
In their inhumanity
Why did the good
people not rise up?
And oppose the evil
Why did they fail to
stop it
Were the jews so bad
So unworthy of pity
Too worthless to be
considered
For whatever reason it
happened
They let it happen
The worst of them
profited by it
The best of them
turned a blind eye to it
But they were all
guilty
And after the war
I think they felt the
guilt
But they feel no guilt
now
Now they try to hide
behind a lie
Pretending it wasn’t
really that bad
There were just a few
bad men
And they are gone now
The Americans
exaggerated everything
There were isolated
incidents
No more than that
Let’s speak of it no more
Lest we offend Islam
Well Islam should be
offended
As it was the Turks of
the Ottoman empire
Who taught their
German allies
The meaning of
Holocaust
When they annihilated
the Armenians
I say let’s speak of
it
Let’s never stop
speaking of it
And if offence is
caused, then so be it
If it prevents it’s
like
From ever happening
again
It’s great to watch Obama
Playing his
presidential games
Talking about kicking
ass
And taking names
He reminds me of King
Canute
Standing on the beach
As his political grasp
Exposes the shortness
of his reach
I think the irony of
the situation
Is well suited
As one of the great
polluters
