ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE GAY DIVORCEE (1934)

 

“The Gay Divorcee” is a Musical Romantic Comedy, written by George Marion Jr, Dorothy Yost and Edward Kaufman from the book by Dwight Taylor, musical adaptation Kenneth S. Webb and Samuel Hoffenstein and Directed by Mark Sandrich.

The story concerns American dancer Guy Holden (Fred Astaire) and Mimi Glossop (Ginger Rogers), there’s clearly an attraction between them but Mimi keeps running off.

Then she visits a lawyer in London, Egbert 'Pinky' Fitzgerald (Edward Everett Horton) and tells him she wants a divorce from her absentee husband.

Meanwhile Mimi’s Aunt Hortense (Alice Brady) hires a professional Rodolfo Tonetti (Erik Rhodes) to play the correspondent in an apparent infidelity.

But what neither of them knows in that Guy and Pinky are friends so they travel down to Brightbourne together where the dancer meets Mimi again, but she thinks that he is the correspondent.

When the dust settles and the confusion has been cleared up Mimi’s husband Cyril (William Austin) turns up but he refuses to grant a divorce, luckily the waiter (Eric Blore) comes to the rescue.

The movie is a feast of song and dance and won the first Oscar for Best Song: “The Continental”, a twenty-two-minute production number.

IT’S A ?

 

A middle-aged couple named Joe and Ellen Waters

Had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters

But the couple decided they should try once more

For the son that they had always been hoping for

After many months of trying, Ellen finally conceived

And then a healthy baby boy was finally received

Joe joyfully rushed into the nursery to see his son

Took one look and wondered what they’d done

He was horrified it was the ugliest kid he’d ever seen

He went and told his wife Ellen he wasn’t very keen

He said there was no way that he could be the dad

“Look at the two beautiful daughters we’ve had”

Then he gave her a very stern look and asked her

“Tell me honestly Ellen have you had an affair?”

But Ellen just smiled sweetly at her husband Joe

Then she looked at him and said, “Not this time no!”

PERFECT WOMAN

 

The perfect woman for me

Will be easy to find really

My perfect woman indeed

Would only actually need

To make my life complete

Two tits and a heartbeat

MEN OF STATURE

 

A married woman was at home in bed

Not with her husband but a lover instead

They were deeply engrossed in the affair

When she heard her husband on the stair

“Oh my god my husband is home early

“Stand in the corner” she said “Hurry”

Then rubbed him with baby oil all over

And the dusted him with talcum powder

She said “Don't move until I tell you to” 

“And just pretend that you're a statue”

The husband asked, “What's this, honey?”

“Oh, a statue,” she replied nonchalantly

“The Smiths have one in their bedroom

I liked it so much, I got one for us too”

No more about the new statue was said

Not even later when they went to bed

The husband got out of bed around two

Walked out the room and went to the loo

Then he went downstairs to the kitchen

He came back with milk and a muffin

“Here,” the husband said to the statue

“Eat this and get a drink inside of you”

I was at the Smiths a day and a quarter

Without so much as a glass of water”

ROAD RAGE # 1

On the road someone cut me up today

So, he’d know that he was in my way

I hit the horn long and hard but alas

It was not working damn and blast

So, I flashed the lights at him instead

Then realization came into my head

I was in my wife’s car, which is Japanese

And the controls differ by degrees

But the action that my wipers displayed

Showed that my point was well made

It may have appeared to be quite funny

But it showed I was not a happy bunny

LUCKY LOTTO

Despite winning twenty million pounds

My feet are still firmly on the ground

So, I am the same despite my good news

But I am wearing much better shoes

RULE BRITANNIA # 3

 

I am proud to be British

Like many realists

As I am not expected to be

Scarred by duelists