MEN OF STATURE

 

A married woman was at home in bed

Not with her husband but a lover instead

They were deeply engrossed in the affair

When she heard her husband on the stair

“Oh my god my husband is home early

“Stand in the corner” she said “Hurry”

Then rubbed him with baby oil all over

And the dusted him with talcum powder

She said “Don't move until I tell you to” 

“And just pretend that you're a statue”

The husband asked, “What's this, honey?”

“Oh, a statue,” she replied nonchalantly

“The Smiths have one in their bedroom

I liked it so much, I got one for us too”

No more about the new statue was said

Not even later when they went to bed

The husband got out of bed around two

Walked out the room and went to the loo

Then he went downstairs to the kitchen

He came back with milk and a muffin

“Here,” the husband said to the statue

“Eat this and get a drink inside of you”

I was at the Smiths a day and a quarter

Without so much as a glass of water”