I
would like to un-invent the aeroplane
It
has shrunken the world too much
You
can fly to Sydney the same day
But
so can so and so or such and such
Package
tours take you far and wide
Everywhere
you go you just despair
From
Niagara Falls to Chinas great wall
Ryan
and Kylie have beaten you there
Exclusive
travelling has gone forever
Cheap
package tours have ruined it
We
all have to go third class together
In
the classless society we now inhabit
Once
we could dine with polite company
On
the finest cuisine we could imagine
Now
we must dine with the hoi palloi
And
burgers and chips are quite routine
Once
we’d dine with the Cooper-Smythes
Lunching
on sandwiches of cured ham
Now
we dine with a toothless Geordie
And
a tattooed tart from Birmingham
Discerning
travelers took ocean liners
Long
sea journeys kept away the dross
And
if anyone should forget their place
The
offender overboard you could toss
The
more difficult the journey there was
Made
the getting their more worth while
The
more luxurious the journey there was
Meant
it was done in a little more style
Now
we must crowd into third class seats
In
our hundreds on these charter flights
To
various destinations both near and far
On
cheap package tours for fourteen nights
Once
when you stepped upon the shore
A
native girl placed a lei over your head
Now
no welcoming committee meets you all
Just
flip flop clad fat blokes there instead
I
would like to un-invent the aeroplane
Now
you can fly for just a few bucks
Please
don’t think that I’m just a snob
But
the global village idea really sucks
