Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nursing. Show all posts

Friday 8 December 2023

Uncanny Tales – (084) Code Named Epping

 

I had occasioned this week to visit a close friend in hospital and while there I ran into another friend, Sheila who I hadn’t seen for about a year, who is a nurse.

She was on her way to get a coffee and as I had finished my visit and was on my way home, she suggested that I joined her so we could catch up.

So, half an hour and two cups of coffee later and having filled in the blanks of the previous twelve months we were joined by Karen, another nurse.

As we sat their chatting over another cup of coffee I was intrigued as to why Karen kept referring to a third party as “Epping” for example “Epping did this” or “Epping did that”.

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me and I asked who Epping was and they both laughed, Karen almost hysterically, then Sheila explained that “Epping” was what another nursing colleague called Su Monks.

I thought for a moment what the reason for calling her Epping might be, aware as I was that medical staff were famous for putting codes on patient notes such as NAB which translates to “needs a bath” or PITA “pain in the arse” I tried to decode Epping, the girls looked at me in amusement as I struggled, I even tried to find a link between Epping and the girls name but try as I may I could not translate Epping into anything so I had to ask.

“Alright I give in, what does Epping mean”?

They both laughed again and then Sheila said, “We call her Epping because she’s just past Barking.”


Sunday 17 July 2022

RCN HYMN

 

From the wards of emphysema

To the floors of maternity

We are proud to all be members

Of the nursing fraternity

 

We work for the sake of patients

As keep our hospital clean:

And we fight the daily battles

In blue or white or green

Wednesday 9 February 2022

HAVING A STROKE

 

A woman arrived on the ward

To visit her husband one day

And when she saw him in his bed

He looked in a very bad way

She asked the nurse what happened

“He had another stroke” The nurse said

The woman unconvinced

Questioned her about bruises to his head

“That’s not normal for someone having a stroke”

She said to her crossly

“I can tell you it is perfectly normal madam

When he’s having a stroke of me”

Wednesday 2 February 2022

GET A GRIP

 

It was when I was at the hospital today

I had undressed and was sat waiting

When the nurse said quite sharply

“You really must stop masturbating”

 

Alarmed I asked with tremulous voice

“Why is there something wrong Nurse Pugh?

She looked at me unsympathetically and said

“No, it’s because I need to examine you”

Wednesday 2 June 2021

RCN HYMN

 

From the wards of emphysema

To the floors of maternity

We are proud to all be members

Of the nursing fraternity

 

We work for the sake of patients

As keep our hospital clean:

And we fight the daily battles

In blue or white or green

Friday 16 April 2021

CODE NAMED EPPING

 

I had occasion, this week to visit a close friend in hospital and while there I ran into another friend, Sheila who I hadn’t seen for about a year, who is a nurse.

She was on her way to get a coffee and as I had finished my visit and was on my way home, she suggested that I joined her so we could catch up.

So, half an hour and two cups of coffee later and having filled in the blanks of the previous twelve months we were joined by Karen another nurse.

As we sat their chatting over another cup of coffee I was intrigued as to why Karen kept referring to a third party as “Epping” for example “Epping did this” or “Epping did that”.

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me and I asked who Epping was and they both laughed, Karen almost hysterically, then Sheila explained that “Epping” was another nursing colleague called Su Monks.

I thought for a moment what the reason for calling her Epping might be, aware as I was that medical staff were famous for putting codes on patient notes such as NAB which translates to “needs a bath” or PITA “pain in the arse” I tried to decode Epping, the girls looked at me in amusement as I struggled, I even tried to find a link between Epping and the girls name but try as I may I could not translate Epping into anything so I had to ask.

“Alright I give in what does Epping mean”?

They both laughed again and then Sheila said, “We call her Epping because she’s just past Barking.”

Wednesday 24 February 2021

CARRY ON NURSE

 

I’ve been going out with this nurse

And you know what they say about them

I think it must be an old wife’s tale

Because I can’t get my hand past her hem

I haven’t had my tongue in her throat

And I can’t even get my hand up her jumper

I’m never ever going to give her one

So, I think I’m going to have to dump her

And that’s a bit of a shame really

Because her figure is really quite super

She must work in the private sector

Because she definitely won’t let me BUPA