MR.WHIPPY R.I.P.

 

An ice cream man has been found dead

Lying on the floor beneath a shelf

Covered with hundreds and thousands

Police say he may have topped himself

WHY WHY WHY?

 

A girl goes to the doctor in some distress

What’s the problem or do I have to guess?

I keep singing the green, green grass of home

That sounds to me like Tom Jones syndrome

Is it very common to sing the songs of a star?

Well, it's not unusual to tell the truth Delilah

A THING POSSESSED

My video recorder is on the blink

The things possessed I’m in no doubt

It records the programs I don’t like

And plays them back when I go out

CLARISSA THE CROSS EYED PIG

 

A man takes his prize pig to see the vet and says

My pig is cross-eyed can you help in some way?

So, he picks the pig up and examines her eyes

Then checks her teeth and then finally he sighs

“I think I’m going to have to put her down now”

“For being cross-eyed?” “No coz she's a heavy sow”

THE DENTISTS CHAIR

 

In the dentist’s chair I lie

I am not brave I think I’ll cry

He turns to me my tooth to fill

I start to sweat I hear the drill

I reach around and grab his crutch

I begin to squeeze but not too much

I move my gaze his eyes to view

If you hurt me then I’ll hurt, you

SHE’S KEEN BUT WHERE’S HE BEEN

 

Did anyone else see David Pegg?

You should have heard Alexander Begg?

Was anyone else watching Emma Peel?

I didn’t think I’d ever see Andrew Neal?

Does anyone know is George Nigh?

You should have seen Kevin Tighe?

Does anyone know does James Bridle?

I have often wondered was Eric Idle?

 

Would anyone know did Michael Ley?

I guess you’ll never know Brian May?

What do you think was Henry Cruel?

You should have seen Pete Duel?

Does anyone recall did Jason Fear?

Did anyone notice that Edward Leer?

Can anyone remember was Diane Keen?

I’m curious to know where has Sean Bean?

 

You should have watched John Thaw?

I have often wondered is Sandie Shaw?

I’m curious to know was Jonathon Swift?

Does anyone know can Oliver Twist?

I didn’t think I’d ever hear James Whale?

I would have liked to see Alexi Sayle?

You should have heard Willy Russell?

I can hardly wait to see Darcy Bussle?

 

What do you think was Damian Duff?

Did anyone notice was Alan Rough?

I’m interested to know can Ben Gunn?

Does anyone recall was David Dunn?

Did anyone notice was Sean Kerley?

I’ve always wondered was George Burley?

You should have watched Robin Cook?

Did anyone see what Barry Took?

ALL-TIME CLASSIC MOVIE FAVOURITES – THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972)

 

“The Poseidon Adventure” is an action thriller disaster movie, screenplay by Stirling Silliphant and Wendell Mayes from the Novel by Paul Gallico and Directed by Ronald Neame.

The story takes place aboard the SS Poseidon, an aged luxury liner on her final voyage from New York City to Athens before being sent to the scrapyard.

However the new owners pressurise Captain Harrison (Leslie Nielsen) to push the Poseidon to her limits to save on the dismantling fees at their destination and as a result, on New Year's Eve, she is hit by a tidal wave which completely capsized her, so that all the internal rooms are suddenly upside down with the Passengers and crew trapped inside.

From the ensuing chaos a rebellious Priest Reverend Scott (Gene Hackman) takes a mixed band of survivors on a journey through the bowels of the ship in an attempt to survive.

The film won two Academy Awards, a Golden Globe, a BAFTA, and a Motion Picture Sound Editors Award, aided in no small way by a fine Ensemble cast including, Ernest Borgnine, Jack Albertson, Shelley Winters, Red Buttons, Carol Lynley, Roddy McDowall, Stella Stevens, Pamela Sue Martin, Arthur O'Connell and Eric Shea.