This is an actual complaint made to a landlord
You may doubt it
and you may even scoff
“I
want some repairs done to my cooker
As it has backfired and burnt my knob off”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up or at least weird
“I
wish to complain that the toilet is blocked
And we can’t bath the children until it’s cleared”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don’t believe it then that’s hard cheese
“Could
you send a man with the right tool
To finish the job and satisfy my wife please”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
With this you may find your belief decreases
“I wish to report our lavatory seat has been
Broken
in half and is now in three pieces”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
You may doubt it but I will let you gauge
“My
poor father hurt his ankle badly when
He put his foot in the hole in his back passage”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up you may think
“Will
you please send a man to look at my
Water it’s a funny color and not fit to drink”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don’t believe it don’t bother “bitchin”
“As
per our agreement I request permission
Formally to remove my draws in the kitchen”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This one sounds doubtful that I must admit
“Our
floor’s damp and we’ve two small kids
We’d like a third so
send someone to do it”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you doubt me that’s ok, I won’t take offence
“I
am writing about their eighteen-year-old son
Who’s always banging his balls against my fence”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up that I must admit
“My
bush is really overgrown round the front
And my back passage now has fungus on it”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don’t believe it don’t
complain at all
“I
am writing to you on behalf of my sink
Which is coming away from the wall”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you’re
doubtful then that’s not unhealthy
“Half
of the walls have crumbling plaster
Half are damp and the rest are just plain filthy”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you doubt me that’s ok, I won’t make a fuss
“The
man next door has a large erection in
His garden which is unsightly and dangerous”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up that I will assent
“Please
send someone to mend the garden path
My wife tripped and now she is pregnant”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don’t believe it then simply disagree
“Every
morning the farmers cock wakes me
Up and it’s now getting to much for me”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If your think it farfetched
then that’s alright
“I
live alone in a ground floor flat and bothered
By the noise from the man on top of me at night”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you doubt me that’s ok then just ignore
“Please
he’s got this huge tool that vibrates
The whole house and I just can’t take it anymore”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
This might sound made up but just a fraction
“I
have had the clerk of works down on the floor
Six times but I
still have had no satisfaction”
This
is an actual complaint made to a landlord
If you don’t believe it then well that’s alright
“Tiles
are missing from the outside toilet roof
I think it was the bad wind the other night”
If
the above are actual complaints to landlords
And we no reason to question their validity
Is
the reason poor literacy or typing errors?
More likely it’s due to “Care in the community”
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