I AM NOT FRESH OR ORIGINAL

 

I am not fresh or original

That kind of sums up my story

And I have greyish white hair

So, I am become hoary

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 400

 

Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater,

Had a wife and couldn't keep

It was doomed from the start

As pumpkin made him fart

ARE YOU WEARING WHITE SHOES?

 

Are you wearing white shoes?

I don’t know the wrongs or rights

But I’m quite sure you shouldn’t

Wear white shoes with black tights

WHAT NOT TO DO IN HORROR MOVIES # 3

 

When there is a raging storm outside

And an intruder with murderous intent

And the power suddenly goes out

Do not go and search the basement

WHEN I WAS YOUNG WE ATE A HEALTHY DIET # 1

 

When I was young, we ate a healthy diet

With plenty of fruit and vegetables

And we didn’t do it under sufferance   

Apart from prunes which were medicinal

INTERLOCUTOR RESPONSE

“Is it true if you’re asked a question

You answer with another question?”

A young man asked his new bride 

“Who told you that?” she replied

HE DIALED 999

He dialled 999 and said.

“Send an ambulance, my wife is in Labour”

“Is this her first baby?” the operator asked

“No, this is her husband, Trevor”