WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 1

 

We went on holiday to Goa in India

We won’t go back in a hurry

I was disgusted to find that almost

Every restaurant served curry

TURN ON COUNTDOWN

 

Last night I was watching Countdown

And Rachel Riley in a colourful gown

When I told my wife, where I am housed

That when watching Rachel, I got Aroused

I could tell that I had let down my guard

Her instant response was to slap me, hard

She slapped me unconscious how absurd

And all I did was get a seven-letter word

POSTMAN LOSES SACK

 

“Postman loses sack”

The crossword-er said

How many letters?

A listener wondered

The former replied

About 500

THE HEAD OF GLOBAL SALES

 

The head of global sales

Bought a new kitten today

And when he took it home

He took it to the litter tray

And then he said “let’s not

Think outside the box, ok”

WE WENT TO THE LOCAL MULTIPLEX

 

We went to the local Multiplex

To watch a film called “Anticlimax”

I would have left early if I could

Although the first part was good

MY GIRLFRIEND PASSED OUT

 

My girlfriend passed out

On the “merry go round”

But she’s alright now, as

What goes around comes around

MY UNCLE’S FAVOURITE TREAT

 

My uncle’s favourite treat

Is Millionaire’s shortbread

But since he won the lottery

He just calls it shortbread