I’ve been doing a self-help course
But it hasn’t helped a
bit
I’ve attended all the
classes
And read the
literature, which is shit
I can’t build myself a
mountain
Or catch rainbows and
such,
I’m better off at home
watching telly
And it doesn’t cost so
much
If life is getting you down
And depressing you increasingly
Take all of your troubles
And toss them into the sea,
You don’t have to do
it for real
Just do it
metaphorically
But a trip to the
beach
Will help you
miraculously
Is there anything more annoying? As when
You want to use a word
but can’t spell it
And fail to look it up
in the dictionary
Because you don't know
how to spell it
I’m sitting in my study reading
Wearing my dressing
gown
It’s a book about
anti-gravity
It's impossible to put down
If Candlemas day
Be dry and fair
Will anyone
Actually care?
Candlemas day
(February 2nd)
Are you wearing this or that?
They both look really
very nice
And you’ve tried on
everything
In your wardrobes,
twice
What’s wrong with
looking nice?
I think they both look
alright
I know you would
prefer stunning
I would prefer to get
there tonight
Old soldiers wearied with age
Marching with
faltering stride
Carry themselves with
dignity
And wear the uniform
with pride
