IF YOU WANT TO SCORE AT SCHOOL

 

If you want to score at school

Then the person to see

To fulfil all your needs

Is the supply teacher obviously

HAVE YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT?

 

Have you had an accident?

That you have not recovered from

And has changed your life?

Well next time use a condom

MARRIED FOR TWELVE YEARS

 

When I said I’d been married for twelve years

My best mate laughed himself into tears

“You’d have got less for murder” he said flat

“No, I wouldn’t” I said “I already thought of that”

THE OFFER THAT SWUNG THE VOTE

 

The offer that swung the vote

On the recent referendum day

Was lowering healthy portions

From five, to three a day

TO UNDERSTAND DISABILITY

 

To understand disability, you should

Put yourself in their place

You might want to start by using

A disabled Parking space

AFRICA HAS ITS PROBLEMS

 

Africa has its problems

With the outbreak of Ebola

But spare a thought for

Every Little Englander

Who is exposed every

Summer to Tombola

MONEY MAY NOT INDEED BE THE KEY

 

Money may not indeed be the key

To happiness, but

If you have enough money, you can

Have your own key cut