SHE LOOKED TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE

 

She looked gorgeous in

Black stockings and stiletto shoes

But after we got naked

I was singing the lady boy blues

 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 177

Mary had a girl friend

Who dressed just like a man

And they spent their evenings

As only special girlfriends can

ARE YOU WEARING SENSIBLE SHOES?

 

Are you wearing sensible shoes?

And substantial winter tights

What a wonderful combination

I can’t express how that delights

How comfortably cosy you will be

On the long cold winter nights

TRAFFIC COP – I’M SORRY

 

“I’m sorry” the Officer said

“That I have to give you a ticket sir”

“I’m sorry too” I said “That I forgot

To plug in my radar detector”

MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 2

 

My wife doesn’t go to the gym

She’s as skinny as a candle

As she gets all the exercise she needs

Just from flying off the handle

FAVOURITE CAR

 

To find our favourite car

A survey has been done

And women have declared

That it is a red one

MY SOLICITOR SAID

 

My solicitor said

That he would get me

A very good Barrister

 

“I don’t need” I said

“Someone making coffee 

Just get me a lawyer”