TEMPERAMENTAL

 

Your temperament is no cause for alarm

At the end of the day no foul no harm

Being a crabby bitch is just part of your charm

CALL CENTER MODE ONCE AGAIN

 

One day Bimbette was having trouble

With her computer,

So she decided to try the call center

At a time that would suit her

 

"Hello how can I help you?"

The tech support guy said

“I have a huge problem”

She replied scratching her head

 

That’s why I decided

To phone up the engineers

Coz Every time I move the mouse

My screen saver disappears”

WHERE THE WHITE RABBIT WENT

Where the white rabbit went

Then young Alice followed

And down a rabbit hole they went

And both of them were swallowed

THE FAIR GAME

The moment I first saw her

Was at the county fair

She was in a summer dress

And fiddling with her hair

 

It was love at first sight

When I saw her there

She smiled at me and said

Her name was Claire

 

We had a nice time together

But later when she was bare

Was when we could truly say

We had all the fun of the fair

EAST OF KINTYRE

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the east

And it was possible to see

The mystical Ailsa Craig

And the Ayrshire coast beyond

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 155

 

Pat a cake, Pat a cake, Bakers man

Bake me a cake as fast as you can; 

Full of E numbers and artificial flavouring

Then microwave it until the oven pings

ARE YOU WEARING BAGGY TROUSERS?

 

Are you wearing baggy trousers?

For any particular reason

They aren’t the height of fashion

They’re not even last season

You think they look “cool”

Whereas they look simply shoddy

I don’t know why you wear them

Unless you have a baggy body