LIVING ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT

 

For many, life isn’t very bright

Living on the Isle of Wight

It’s very much, the have nots

Outnumbering the have yacht’s

LIVING ON MARTHA’S VINEYARD

 

For many, life is quite hard

Living on Martha’s Vineyard

It’s very much, the have nots

Outnumbering the have yacht’s

THE CANARY ISLANDS

The Canary Islands, as listed

In geographical catalogues

Are not named after the birds

And are really the Isles of Dogs

EAST OF KINTYRE

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the east

And it was possible to see

The mystical Ailsa Craig

And the Ayrshire coast beyond

WEST OF KINTYRE # 3

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the west

Where it was possible to make out

Malin Head in Donegal

WHEN I LIVED IN MELBOURNE

 

When I lived in Melbourne

I often used to wonder

Why the Local Area Network

Wasn’t called The LAN down under

WEST OF KINTYRE # 2

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the west

Where it was possible to see

Rathlin Island clear as day

And Ballycastle just beyond

WEST OF KINTYRE # 1

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

Looking out across the sea

To the distant misty shores

Of Antrim far away

SALISBURY VIEW

 

The late September sun

Bathed the water meadow

As sheep graze the lammas

In stark relief against the blue

Like a great golden arrow

The spire points heavenward

THE CANARY ISLANDS

The Canary Islands, as listed

In geographical catalogues

Are not named after the birds

And are really the Isles of Dogs

DESCRIPTIVE TRAVELLER

 

It was appropriate for a voyeur,

To live in the village of Watcham

To where I just returned yesterday

From the Northern town of Oldham

But as that is in the past now

I suppose it should be Feltham

EAST OF KINTYRE

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the east

And it was possible to see

The mystical Ailsa Craig

And the Ayrshire coast beyond 

WHEN I LIVED IN MELBOURNE

 

When I lived in Melbourne

I often used to wonder

Why the Local Area Network

Wasn’t called The LAN down under

WEST OF KINTYRE # 3

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the west

Where it was possible to make out

Malin Head in Donegal

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 304

 

There was a Ship sailed away to Spain

All the way there it was lashed with rain

And when they arrived at last in Spain

Where the rain didn’t fall in the main

As Higgins suggested on the plain

WEST OF KINTYRE # 2

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

On a day so crisp and clear

And looked out towards the west

Where it was possible to see

Rathlin Island clear as day

And Ballycastle just beyond

WEST OF KINTYRE # 1

 

On the Mull of Kintyre

I stood atop the steep cliffs

Looking out across the sea

To the distant misty shores

Of Antrim far away

WOKING

 

Woking so wants a claim to fame

So tenuous links to the famous they list

On the official Woking web site

Such as Adelina de Lara, Concert pianist

The Spice Girls and George Bernard Shaw

Queen Elizabeth I and Lady Hamilton

Paul Weller, Peter Gabriel, Rick Parfitt

Peter Davison, The Jam and Eric Clapton

Sir Alec and Eric Bedser the Cricketing twins

These and many more appear for their sins

H.G. Wells is a particular favourite

With several places in town with his name on

But when he wrote “war of the worlds”

He had the Martian land on Horsell common

Because sadly while in the town he hated it so

He made sure that Woking was the first place to go

VEGAN PASTIE

 

I just had a vegan pastie,

Which wasn’t bad at all,

It wasn’t Cornish though,

It was made in Quornwall

BACK IN SMOGGY BERMONDSEY

 

When we were back

In smoggy Bermondsey

And all the money was spent

We looked back fondly

On our September holiday

Picking hops in Kent