I was driving to work this morning
It was just as the day
was dawning
And I noticed a parked-up
AA van
And next to it was a
crying man
But properly weeping
and wailing
Down on his knees with
arms flailing
I just shook my head
with a frown
I knew he was headed
for a breakdown
Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote
“The pen
is mightier than the sword”
This is, indeed, a
fine sentiment.
That we should
heartily applaud
But when faced with machine
gun fire
I fear the proposition
is flawed
I know with certainty
That, nine times out
of ten
When in my house
Something is broken
Or just malfunctioning
I know before I see it
The probability is
One of my kids did it
And the 10 percent of
times
They are off the hook
Then I know who to
blame
By my wife’s guilty
look
I leapt up out of bed,
And I opened the
door
In my pyjamas,
Wow I’d not noticed it
before
What a very odd place
For there to be a door
A man made a boast
It was a real
humdinger
“I can turn this duck
Into a soul singer”
He repeated his boast
Despite being mocked
And made a wager
That left them shocked
They took the bet
That was a real
humdinger
To see him turn a duck
Into a soul singer
He said as he took the
duck
That he called Mr
Smithers
“Now I’ll put it in
the microwave
Until its bill
withers”
Three fish in a tank,
One says to the other
ones
I'll drive the thing
If you two man the
guns
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails, and puppy dog’s tails
That's what little boys are made of!"
What are big boys made of?
Chips and ales, and chasing girl’s tails
