You are so cute and fit
But you don’t seem up
for it
Is there a reason you
won’t play
Do you swing the other
way?
Are you playing hard
to get
Or haven’t met the
“one” yet
It will take more than
charmers
To get into your
pyjama’s
Because I think for a
start
They must get into
your heart
Sing a song of sixpence a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was launched the tills began to sing,
It seems that McDonalds will fob you off with anything
Dreams are really very odd
Last night my wife sat
up and said
“Tell Lionel to stop
It’s really hurting my
head”
I enquired politely
What the hell she was
on about
“Lionel Blair is in
the wardrobe
Get the tosser out”
Now considering the
early hour
I had the patience of
Job
And softly said “Why
would he
Be in our wardrobe”?
A fare question, I
thought
She just gave me a frown
“Tap dancing you
idiot”
And then she lay back
down
It seems to me that a man in his middle years
Is rendered more
attractive, almost immediately,
To the opposite sex,
if found to be wealthy
And/or he is a well-known
TV celebrity
Are you wearing a bra?
It doesn’t look as if
you are
I think underneath
your shirt
Your breasts are free
and pert
And clearly if they
are
Then you don’t need to
wear a bra
Pearl's a singer,
She stands up,
When she plays the
piano
In a night club
Pearl has a sister,
She really pongs
And that’s why she’s
lonely
Her job was
entertaining folks,
Singing songs and
telling jokes
In a nightclub
Shirl’s her sister,
and they say,
That she once was a
winner, now she’s hopeless
Shirl's a minger, and
they say,
That she once had a
shower
They said it was about
a year a go
When she succumbed to
the B.O.
It was rancid
Shirl’s a minger
She stands out
Coz she won’t lose the
BO
In a bathtub
I was feeling fruity last night
But my wife wasn’t in
the mood
She said she was too
tired
For doing anything
rude
But I was still
feeling fruity
So, I pleaded for her
to succumb
Finally, she said
“ok”,
“Pull my nightie down
when you’re done”
