THE RIGHT QUESTION

 

“You probably get this quite a lot I expect,

So I’ll make it quick and not prolong,

Aren’t you the chap who invented Tippex?,

You are, are you not; correct me if I’m wrong”

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 1

 

I have a favourite type of girl,

I love my lady’s trim

Like Skinny Ginny

And Ultra slim Kim

 

I love them thin and bony

Not a hint of saggy

I like Scrawny Dawny

And Scraggy Maggie

 

Lovely Lean Jean

Or Slender Brenda

For the nearer the bone

Is sweetest and tender

SIR CUMFERENCE OF CAMELOT

Sir Cumference of Camelot

Could eclipse the sun in the sky

With the bulk of his obesity

Though he didn’t know why

His physician warned him that

Left unchecked he would die

But he had a hearty appetite

And that was the reason why

Sir Cumference of Camelot

Could eclipse the sun in the sky

And the immensity of his girth

Was caused, by too much pi

A FISHY DEMISE

 

I’ve lost all of my tropical fish

And it’s my neighbour I have to thank

Because he plays his music so loud

It caused a tsunami in my fish tank

DOG-DAY AFTERNOON

 

I start in the morning

With a spring in my step

Like an excited puppy

Full of vigour and pep

But at the end of the day

I walk with a heavier step

And feel less like a puppy

And more like “old shep”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 52

 

I'm bringing home my baby bumble bee

Won’t my Mommy be so proud of me

But my baby bumble bee went and stung me

So, I stomped on that bastard bumble bee

LOOSE MORALS # 3

 

There was some show n tell at the hotel

When she showed her tits in St Kitts

She was asked to leave would you believe

So, she showed them again on the plane