MY NEIGHBOURS ARE OBNOXIOUS

 

My neighbours are obnoxious, rude

And loud and they’re doing in my cranium

They are so intolerable that I finally

Know, what it must be like to be a Canadian

BURNING ALL HER BILLS

My next-door neighbour

At number ninety-two

Has been burning all her bills

But that’s Bernadette for you 

A COUPLE OF WOMEN

 

A couple of women

Live next door to me

One is middle-aged

And teaches PE

The other a social worker

In her mid-twenties

They go everywhere together

If you, please

And I’ve never seen a man

Either enter or leave

I’m beginning to think

That they might be Lebanese

MY NEW NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR

 

My new next-door neighbour,

It turns out, is a really pretentious twat

He has travelled quite a lot

So, his house is named Bindair Dundat.

INCONSIDERATE NEIGHBOURS

 

At 3am there was a knock at the door

It was my neighbour, the cheeky little strumpet

3 o’clock in the morning, can you believe that?

Having the door knocked by some bit of crumpet

All I can say is that it was lucky for the little madam

I was still up playing my trumpet

A FISHY DEMISE

 

I’ve lost all of my tropical fish

And it’s my neighbour I have to thank

Because he plays his music so loud

It caused a tsunami in my fish tank

DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN

 

The darkest hour

Is just before the dawn

So, if you’re going to pee

On your neighbor’s lawn

That’s the time to do it