MULTITASKING MAIDENS

Women are supposedly very good at multitasking

Men are not, which allegedly is our biggest crime

But if women are truly capable of multitasking

Why can’t they have a headache and sex at the same time?

DAVY JONES DISCO

 

If you go to a seafood disco

For a tango and a tussle

Don’t complain about bad luck

If you only pull a muscle

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 32

 

Monday’s child is bleary eyed,

Tuesday’s child is full of pride,

Wednesday’s child is fighting fit,

Thursday’s child is full of shit,

Friday’s child gets out of its brain,

Saturday’s child goes to the pub again

And the child that is born on the Sabbath day

Is nice and kind in an irritating way

LIQUID TO SOLID

 

Liquid Viagra will become

The ultimate cocktail I think

And be popular with the group

In need of a stiff drink

THE NINE MUSES OF THE ARTS – TERPSICHORE (MUSE OF DANCING)

 

The nine muses

Daughters of Zeus

Inspiring of mortals

And nurturers of the arts

The seventh was,

The divine Terpsichore,

Delight of dancing,

Muse of choral songs and dance

A lyre in her hand

Accompanies the dancers

Terpsichore muse of dance

Mother of the sirens

LIFE’S HIGHWAY # 3

 

It seems that no matter which road I travel

As soon as I turn onto it the road works begin

But it’s not the road works themselves I mind so much

It’s that they’re never filling the bloody Potholes in

SHE WHO MUST BE

 

When first we met, I thought of her

She who must be an angel

When we were married, she became

She who must be obeyed

Now we are divorced she has become

She who must be despised