Tom, Tom the piper’s son
Stole a pig and away he ran,
The pig was ate and it tasted great
And so said everyone on Tom’s estate
Tom, Tom the piper’s son
Stole a pig and away he ran,
The pig was ate and it tasted great
And so said everyone on Tom’s estate
If you can no longer grow
Hair on your head
But it sprouts from
Your ears and nose
instead
You have passed your
best
Just as everyone said
The best friends
Are like four leaf clovers
They are hard to find
But are so lucky to
have
Thank you for being my
friend
Put downs work the best
For deflecting
unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the
tension
When he says to you
“Is this seat empty Hon”?
Just reply to him
After many years I am forced to conclude
It will almost certainly be your attitude
In the workplace and not your aptitude
That will determine your ultimate altitude
Sir Lancelot A’Boils
On the battlefield
Gave great service to his King
And never thought to yield
Sir Lancelot A’Boils
At the court of his King
Gave great service to his Queen
And Arthur didn’t do a thing
Sir Lancelot A’Boils
At the court unseen
Gave great service to his King
As King Arthur was a queen
Sir Lancelot A’Boils
Camelot’s love machine
Gave great service to the court
To peasant and King and all in between
Sir Lancelot A’Boils
Did eventually exceed
Having given a lifetime of service
He died when he tried to shag his steed
The amorous King John
Took by ungentlemanly force
The woodcutter’s daughter
And put her upon his horse
He took her from Albury village
To a place called the silent pool
The girl scared and crying
Prayed the Kings ardour had cooled
He pressed his intent upon her
So, into the dark lake she fled
From his horse he drove her ever deeper
Until the poor girl was dead
Now on the silent pool at midnight
The maiden can be seen there
Where the amorous King John
Did drown the life from her