I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 16

 

I love anagrams

Anagrams are great

Some are droll

Some hurt your sides

For example

Election results = let's recount lies

CONSTITUTIONAL

 

Old Joe shuffled his way

Along the promenade one day

He decided it was time to stop

As he passed an ice cream shop

He moved slowly and painfully

And climbed on a stool carefully

After catching his breath a bit

Old Joe ordered a banana split

"Crushed nuts?" asked the waitress

"No," he replied, "just arthritis."

HARRY, LARRY AND BARRY

Three old friends walking from

The old folks retirement home

"Windy, isn't it?" said Harry

"No, it's Thursday!" said Larry

Then Barry said with a cheer

"So am I let's get a beer"

ONE, TWO, THREE, LIFT

 

Why is it sound engineers?

When there’s a gig to do

And they have to test the system

Say one two, one two, one two

And at the end of the gig

When there’s packing up to do

They don’t have any testing

But they’re nowhere in view

I think sound engineers

Can only count up to two

Because if they counted up to three

There would be heavy lifting to do

BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT

 

Britain’s got talent

Of that there’s no doubt

Britain’s got talent

The secret is finally out

 

Britain’s got talent

In depth and variety

Britain’s got talent

For every one to see

 

But apart from talent shows

And the Royal Variety

There is no outlet

For these acts on TV

 

Where it not for Blackpool

And Lakeside in Frimley

There would be no outlet at all

For our wonderful variety

 

So Simon Cowell

Master of the TV franchise

Give us more variety on TV

As a feast for our eyes

 

Britain has got talent

An unseen depth of it

But it doesn’t matter

If we never get to see it

BEAT THE DRUM TO THE LIBERALS TUNE

 

The liberal minded

Like a parade

They like to march

They like to engage

 

Beat the drum

To end the war

They’ll tell you

That’s what freedoms for

 

Ban the bomb

Free Tibet

No more Trident

End third world debt

 

March in the city

For gay pride

And every liberal

Is on your side

 

If you’re so inclined

Join the throng

March in unison

And sing the liberal song

 

But bang the drum

And blow the horn

For patriotism

And feel their scorn

LIBERALLY HUMEROUS?

 

Don’t you just love them?

If only for their belief in equality

Or a love of all things PC

And an unswerving moral certainty

It’s a shame that to become a liberal

A sense of humour bypass is necessary