MY SISTER WOULD ONLY WORK ON ONE ANIMAL

 

My sister would only work on one animal

So all the local farmers mocked her

And upset her, but I soon cheered her up

When I pointed out that she was a Doctor

DOWN BY THE RIVERSIDE

 

Bimbette was out for a stroll by the river

And was enjoying the walk in the countryside

When she saw Peaches on the opposite bank

“Hi Peachy how do I get to the other side?”

Peaches looked at her with a puzzled expression

“You’re already there silly” she replied

A TRIP TO THE FARM

 

When our class

Visited the local farm

We had a lovely day

 

And on the bus home

We sang a song

About our lovely day

 

The sheep go baa

The cows go moo

The ducks go quack

Chickens cock a doodle doo

 

The shepherd says hi

The cowman says hello

Get off that fucking tractor

We hear the farmer bellow

OUT IN THE COUNTRY, AGAIN

 

When driving the byways

Travelling far and wide

Whether the lakes or the peaks

Or any of the countryside,

One thing that’s guaranteed

To frustrate the driving clan

And cause them to become irate

Is to get stuck behind a caravan

OUT IN THE COUNTRY

 

Driving down country lanes

Top down, wind in my hair

The sun gracing the sky

The wind set fair

The smell of hay,

Freshly mowed

Beasts in the fields

Beyond hedgerows

Blue cloudless skies,

On a glorious summer’s day,
The only blot being

The cyclists in my way

FOGHORN LEGHORN THE COCKEREL

 

Foghorn Leghorn the Cockerel

Is happy to be the farmyard hick

Not through a lack of ambition

But he’s never short of a hot chick

ALL THE RABBITS IN THE FIELD

 

All the Rabbits in the field

Backed away from Farmer Kline

This strange phenomenon

Is known as a receding hareline

THE WISDOM OF MY YOUTH # 3

 

When I was a child 

I discovered that people in the country

When you waved to the ones

That you could see

Stopped what they were doing

And waved back at me