MY SISTER WOULD ONLY WORK ON ONE ANIMAL

 

My sister would only work on one animal

So all the local farmers mocked her

And upset her, but I soon cheered her up

When I pointed out that she was a Doctor

MILL STREAM

 

The stream runs down the rugged hill

To where stands a quiet water mill

And when water shoots along the spill

The wheel is turned to break the still

So, the miller toils with sweat and skill

And when there are no more sacks to fill

The sluices close and again all’s still

THE SWEET SCENT OF FRESH MOWN HAY

 

The sweet scent of fresh mown hay

Carried on the evening summer breeze

Makes her look at me and smile

As she knows it will make me sneeze

SIT DOWN IN THE MEADOW

 

Sit down in the meadow

And we will bill and coo

We will choose a perfect spot

But please be careful do

Oh, dear that was thoughtless

I did suggest you take care

It was rather ill considered

For you to sit down there

As if you lift your buttock up

You’ll see you squashed

A perfect patch of buttercup

COUNTRY WATCH

 

I went to the countryside

And you know when I looked

I could see animals roaming about

That were totally uncooked

I HAVE A DIFFICULTY WITH HEDGEHOGS

 

I have a difficulty with Hedgehogs

I know it’s a strange thing to declare

It’s just a hedge, so I find it very hard

To understand why they can’t share?

IN THE COUNTRY

 

I was staying in the country with my girlfriend

While on a walking holiday for a long weekend

We stopped for a pub lunch at a very quaint spot

When a commotion arose over the last hot pot

A village resident said the weekend breakers

Invaded and were nothing but hoggers and takers

And she was fed up with the weekend invaders

And the disturbed peace of her home by outsiders

I could tell listening to her objections vocally

That the plum in her mouth wasn’t grown locally

SHEEPISH CONVERSE

 

A sheep bleats in the twilight

As day drifts into night

So, I responded in like wise

Much to my wife’s surprise

“Why on earth did you just bleat?

You’re not a bloody sheep”

I replied, “I am not of the country

So, it simply occurred to me

That in my humble view

It was the polite thing to do”

NEWLANDS CORNER

Newlands Corner
Is one of my most favourite places
I’ve always loved it there
When I look out across the patchwork
Of rolling Surrey Hills,
The chalk grasslands
The ancient woodlands
And the villages nestling there
I feel a deep calm and peace
Penetrating my soul
It’s almost overwhelming
Like the weight of the world
Is lifted from my shoulders
It as if His hand on my shoulder

I WANT TO LIVE

I want to live
Where you can see stars
In the night sky
And it actually gets dark at night

I want to live
Where the river banks
Are grass and reed
And the dominant colour is green

I want to live
Where the animals
Out number cars
And I know all my neighbours by name

I want to live
An idyllic country life
In a village or on a farm
In a chocolate box paradise