A Little Bit Of Humour # 159

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 393

Thursday's child
Has far to go,
(Well I hope they’re not travelling on Southern Rail)

ARE YOU WEARING PINK? # 1

Are you wearing a Pink?
And are dressed as a ballet dancer
Well, all credit to you man
Standing up to breast Cancer

I ALWAYS FIGURED THAT MICHAEL’S FAMILY TREE

I always figured that Michael’s family tree
Must have been from the cactus family
Because I’ve met the relatives of Mick
And everyone on his family tree is a prick

MONEY IS NOT THE KEY TO HAPPINESS

“Money is not the key to happiness”
That’s what they always say, but
Of course if you have enough money,
You can have your own key cut

I JUST HEARD THAT THE SEXY GIRL

I just heard that the sexy girl
From Goldfinger, Pussy Galore
Changed her name for the film
She was Fanny Aplenty before

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS BEING EXPLORED

Artificial Intelligence is being explored
By science, despite its inadvisability
But then education and inquisitiveness
Are no defence against natural stupidity

AMIDST THE TERRIBLE TRAGEDY SADIQ

Amidst the terrible tragedy
Sadiq smiled, to his eternal shame
But the reason for that was
That he had found someone to blame

APRIL SHOWERS BRING

April showers bring
May flowers it seems
But then May flowers
Only bring Pilgrims

THE WI-FI STOPPED WORKING

The Wi-Fi stopped working
As the family ate their stew
And a teenager began talking
The father said “Who are you?”

IF HELEN WAS THE FACE

If Helen was the face
That launched a thousand ships
Then Paris was the dick
Who caused Troy’s apocalypse

I THINK IT’S PROBABLY A MYTH

I think it’s probably a myth
Regarding multitasking women
Like the Loch Ness Monster or
Shy retiring used car salesmen

THE MOST PERFECT SUMMER DRINK # 1

The most perfect drink
To quench a thirst, without fail
On a hot summers day
Is a cool glass of ginger ale

WHILE EAVES DROPPING IN THE VESTRY

While eaves dropping in the vestry
I heard mention of a blasphemy palaver
Or so I thought, but it turned out
That the vicar said raspberry pavlova

I AM NOT A HOUSE PROUD MAN

I am not a house proud man
By any means or measure
I find it too much of a chore
I am more a man of leisure
So for me a clean flat is
The sign of a broken computer

I USED TO BE INDECISIVE

I used to be indecisive
At least I thought so
But I am now quite sure
That I don’t actually know

I MET MY PROSPECTIVE FATHER IN LAW AT THE WEEKEND

I met my prospective father in law at the weekend
And he seemed quite normal when I saw him
So I was quite pleased until my girlfriend said
“Everyone seems normal until you get to know them”