Halloween 2017

ARE YOU WEARING BLOODY CLOTHES?

Are you wearing bloody clothes?
I don’t mind admitting that you look scary
I hope it’s a Halloween costume and you
Haven’t escaped from the penitentiary

HALLOWEEN IS A CONTEST

For my friends and I, Halloween is a contest
And I go all out to beat them all
This year I dressed my dog up as a cat
But now he won’t come when I call

GOTH HALLOWEEN

I wonder if Halloween is the only
Day of the year that the goths
Dress colorfully like butterflies
Instead of the normal drab moths

THE LESSON THAT HALLOWEEN TEACHES

The lesson that Halloween teaches
Us all, Might well strike a chord
It’s pretending to be something you're not
Which will lead to a sweet reward

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN SPATS?

Are you wearing Halloween spats?
Well I don’t like them much
But I have to admit that the spatter
Of blood is a very nice touch

A HOLIDAY DECEPTION # 2

I pretend to be someone I’m not
Just to receive something sweet
Which could be for Valentine’s Day
Or just for a Halloween treat

I MET A GIRL ON HALLOWEEN,

I met a girl on Halloween,
Wearing blood suckers attire
But alas she wasn’t costumed
She was actually a vampire

THANK GOODNESS FOR HALLOWEEN,

Thank goodness for Halloween,
I can say that without hesitation
Because the cobwebs have suddenly
Become Halloween decorations

HALLOWEEN PROPOSITION

My future wife was dressed like a tart
When we first met on Elm Street
And she said very provocatively
“I'll be your trick if you'll be my treat”

HALLOWEEN IS ONE OF THE FEW

Halloween is one of the very few
Acceptable times to wear body glitter
When you have a reasonable expectation
Of not being mistaken for a stripper

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN SLIPPERS?

Are you wearing Halloween slippers?
They look very cute it must be said
But I think they’d look much cuter
If I was to see them under my bed

HALLOWEEN IS ALL ABOUT CANDY

Halloween is all about Candy
Which can be very droll
Unless she has daddy issues
And swings from a pole

WHY COULDN'T THE WITCH HAVE CHILDREN?

Why couldn't the witch have children?
It wasn’t just because she was a meanie
The answer is far more fundamental
Because her husband had a hallow weenie

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN SOCKS?

Are you wearing Halloween socks?
Beneath your skirt? it’s hard to see
And gives me pause to wonder
How high they go above the knee

I AM BEING HAUNTED BY

I am being haunted by
A dancing ghostly vision
Who really has the moves
So I call him Boogie Man

HALLOWEEN FANCY DRESS

My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For Halloween
I said “Drunk will do me”

HALLOWEEN IS JUST AN EXCUSE

Halloween is just an excuse
For girls to dress inappropriately
And that’s why Halloween
Is the best holiday for me

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN ANKLE SOCKS?

Are you wearing Halloween ankle socks?
You know I’ve often pictured them on you
And you really don’t need anything else
Just wearing those ankle socks will do