A Little Bit Of Humour # 155

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 389

If all the world was apple pie,
Just like it was in my dream
Then the oceans would be full
Of delicious vanilla ice cream

ARE YOU WEARING CAPRI PANTS?

Are you wearing Capri Pants?
You’d look at home on a yacht
But I can say one thing for sure
Audrey Hepburn you are not

ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN # 8

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern
Contrary to the rumour, are not dead
They are in the Australian jungle
Doing “I’m a Celebrity” instead

ON BURNS NIGHT

On Burns Night
One thing you must do
Is to eat the Haggis
Before it eats you

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 398

There was a little girl who had a little curl
A pretty girl with a smile to dazzle
But that wasn’t how she wanted to be
So she had a wax and vagazzle

PAUL REVERE

Obviously Paul Revere famously
Rode his horse from Boston
Because the horse was too heavy
For him to carry to Lexington

THERE WERE TWO FLAGS FLYING ON ADJACENT POLES

There were two flags flying on adjacent poles
In all weathers as wind and hail they braved
And in all the years the two flags silently flew
They never once spoke, they simply waved

I AM DEEPLY IN LOVE AND JOYOUSLY HAPPY

I am deeply in love and joyously happy
In our rewarding, loving Relationship
In fact I am walking on air in my joy
And get a natural high from our elationship

I WENT FOR HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING

I went for Health and Safety training
On the safe and proper use of a ladder
And when the instructor began with
“Step one” I couldn’t have been gladder

OLD CLASSIC SONGSMITHS CROON

Old classic songsmiths croon
Their sweet romantic tune
Of the lovers sweet embrace
Beneath a silent silvery moon

WHEN I FIRST SAW THE BLUE PLANET

When I first saw the Blue Planet
Being advertised on widely on TV
I have to confess that nature wasn’t
The first thought that came to me

COUPLES ON THE DANCE FLOOR

Couples on the dance floor
In the heat of their oscillation
Can very easily find themselves
In an agreeable osculation

SADIQ KHAN, PHOTO OP BOY

For little Sadiq, appearing big
Is the name of the game
So if its bad news, photo op boy
Is on scene to apportion blame,
If it’s good he’s there, so that
All the praise is his to claim

MY FATHER IN LAW IS FULL OF IT

My father in law is full of shit
And I say that without hesitation
He would disagree obviously
As he would call it constipation

I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION

I have come to the conclusion
That atoms are conniving
Deceitful and untrustworthy
Because they make up everything

IN HIS ADVENTURE’S

In his adventure’s against
Captain Hooks pirate band
Peter Pan always flies
Because he can Neverland