The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful
pea-green boat,
Though they were
jolly, their expedition was folly
And the coast guard
sent a life boat
So when the Owl and
the Pussycat went to sea
Safely ashore we were
able to see
Because the couples
distress, the whole sorry mess
Was filmed by the BBC
At the St Patrick’s Day party
A guy was playing the Ukulele
But he didn’t know
when to stop
Until he was hit with
a Shillelagh
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break
the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your
endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something
clever
“Do you have any Irish
in you?”
Ask her, on St
Patrick's Day
And if she answers
yes, reply
“You can have some
more today”
On St Patrick’s Day
You know an Irish
rover
Has had enough to
drink
When they’re Dublin
over
The Irish celebrate St Patricks Day
And I have always
wondered why
As they have three
patron saints
Perhaps Patrick had a
better PR guy
You can drink green beer
On any St Patricks Day
It counts as a
vegetable
And one of your five a
day
St Patrick’s Day is an excuse
For girls to dress
inappropriately
That’s why St
Patrick’s Day
Is the best holiday
for me
My friend asked me
What I was going to be
For St Patrick’s Day
I said “Drunk will do
me”
St Patrick’s Day is one of the very few
Acceptable times to
wear body glitter
When you have a
reasonable expectation
Of not being mistaken
for a stripper
When you’re on the pull
If you want to break
the ice
Say something funny
Or say something nice
Be complimentary
Or just lie in your
endeavour
Be devastatingly witty
Or say something
clever
“Do you have any Irish
in you?”
Ask her, on St
Patrick's Day
And if she answers no,
reply
“Do you want some
today?”
No! You don't iron four leaf clovers
That something you
must never do
Because let’s be
honest you don’t
Want to go pressing
your luck do you
I got very drunk on St Patricks Day
So, I took a bus home
to save any fuss
This may not be a big
deal to most
But I had never before driven a bus
At the St Patrick’s Day party
A guy was playing the Ukulele
But he didn’t know
when to stop
Until he was hit with
a Shillelagh
Are you wearing shamrock?
And Patrick is patron
saint, but why?
Did he drive the
snakes out of Ireland?
Or did he just have a great PR guy?
Are you wearing a shamrock?
Ireland’s national
emblem
The young clover
symbol
Displayed out of patriotism
Are you wearing green?
My pretty young Coleen
And that’s everything
so?
Well, that’s nice to
know
And is an image to
bewitch
If you do mean every
stitch
She is my southern Irish bundle of fun
If you want a good
time girl she’s the one
She drinks like a fish
and dances till dawn
She’ll run around
naked on your front lawn
She likes to gamble
but doesn’t do drugs
And likes to drink
Guinness from mugs
She is the one who
paints the town red
There’s never a dull
moment it has to be said
Then later you can
have a quiet Canoodle
Until you unleash her
inner sex poodle
Then she’s a sex
crazed Barbie doll
Who doesn’t know when
to stop at all
For outside she’s
sweet as apple strudel
While inside she’s a
spanky sex poodle
Are you wearing a shamrock?
Ireland’s national emblem
The young clover symbol
Displayed out of patriotism
At the St Patrick’s Day party
A guy was playing
the Ukulele
But he didn’t know
when to stop
Until he was hit
with a Shillelagh
