She made women chatter at the regatta
But she made men quiver
on the river
And when she was
floating in a punt
There was absolutely
nothing to see
Sunday 20 March 2022
LOOSE MORALS # 4
SELF ANALYSIS
Are you clinically obese?
Is your alcohol intake
quite scary?
Do you like to dress
up as a woman?
WALKERS BAGS OF TASTE # 1
Walkers’ crisps should be forced to comply
With trade description
legislation
And stop disappointing
their customers
With their artificial
flavourization
When purchasing a bag
of Walkers crisps
The refined palate of
an epicurean
Would be gravely
disappointed if they did not
Taste of Rambler,
Hiker or Pedestrian
ARTIE
When Artie Shaw
Was the King of Swing
His liquorice stick
Was made to sing
With a beat
To tap your toe too
Or melodies
To serenade you
Swing to get the kids
A jumping
Tunes to get the blood
A pumping
Artie Shaw and his
Tuneful clarinet
The King of Swing
Was as good as they
get
THE RIGHT QUESTION
“You probably get this quite a lot I expect,
So I’ll make it quick
and not prolong,
Aren’t you the chap
who invented Tippex?,
You are, are you not;
correct me if I’m wrong”
SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 1
I have a favourite type of girl,
I love my lady’s trim
Like Skinny Ginny
And Ultra slim Kim
I love them thin and
bony
Not a hint of saggy
I like Scrawny Dawny
And Scraggy Maggie
Lovely Lean Jean
Or Slender Brenda
For the nearer the
bone
Is sweetest and tender
SIR CUMFERENCE OF CAMELOT
Sir Cumference of Camelot
Could eclipse the sun
in the sky
With the bulk of his
obesity
Though he didn’t know
why
His physician warned
him that
Left unchecked he
would die
But he had a hearty
appetite
And that was the
reason why
Sir Cumference of
Camelot
Could eclipse the sun
in the sky
And the immensity of
his girth
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)