GOURMET BEETROOT CRISPS

 

Gourmet Beetroot crisps

I found out just today

Can easily be included

As one of your five a day

SALT AND SHAKE

When I was a kid all crisps were plain

But we didn’t care about that a jot

After all we still had the choice

Of whether to put the salt on or not

CRISP ETIQUETTE

 

The chunky McCoy’s

Are the crisps for boys

The fluffy puffy curls

Are suitable for girls

And the uniform Pringles

Are for the sad singles

THE TRUTH ABOUT PRINGLES

 

Pringles are all uniform

The same weight shape and size

Pringles are never any different

They never ever surprise

 

The Pringles stack in a tube

They fit in ever so neatly

They were obviously designed

For those with OCD

WALKERS BAGS OF TASTE # 2

 

Walkers’ crisps should be forced to comply

With trade description legislation

And stop disappointing their customers

With their artificial flavourization

 

When purchasing a bag of Walkers crisps

The connoisseur would think it a mistake

If he was unable to detect the distinct flavour

Of sweaty cagoule and Kendal mint cake

WALKERS BAGS OF TASTE # 1

 

Walkers’ crisps should be forced to comply

With trade description legislation

And stop disappointing their customers

With their artificial flavourization

 

When purchasing a bag of Walkers crisps

The refined palate of an epicurean

Would be gravely disappointed if they did not

Taste of Rambler, Hiker or Pedestrian