ARE YOU WEARING A NIGHTGOWN?

 

Are you wearing a nightgown?

A subtle shade of light brown

You look sad in your nightgown

You even have a slight frown

Let me grab your nightgown

A subtle shade of light brown

And pull it quickly right down

And I’ll remove that slight frown

ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN TIE?

 

Are you wearing a Halloween tie?

If that’s what it’s supposed to be

Well, what is it if it’s not a tie?

Oh god it’s alive and wriggly

PARLIAMENT ENACT THE LAWS

 

Parliament enacts the Laws

To legislate our behaviour

Police officers patrol the streets

To enforce the law

Then the court system shows us

The error of our ways

Well, that’s the theory anyway

Politicians call the tunes

And the police cherry pick

The laws that they enforce

And the crown prosecution service

Take only the cases they can win

Or that make them look good

And all three elements

Play to the media

I THINK MY CHICKENS ARE POSSESSED

 

I think my chickens are possessed

My wife is very much distressed

Their feathers are all dishevelled

And the eggs they lay are Devilled

MY WIFE AND I ARE FORTUNE TELLERS

 

My wife and I are fortune tellers

We met at our local dance hall

It was a night to remember and

We fell in love at the crystal ball

MY CROSS EYED TEACHER WAS SACKED

 

My cross-eyed teacher was sacked

The governors have no scruples

They said it wasn’t her disability

But that she couldn't control her pupils

THERE WAS A FOUR HOUR POWER CUT

 

There was a four-hour power cut

While she was in the department store

And Bimbette then spent all four hours

Trapped halfway up the escalator