MIDDLE-AGED CONTRACEPTION

 

I have found that at my age

The best form of contraception

That works for me anyway

Is to leave the bedroom light on

BIRTHDAY RITUAL

 

When I have a birthday

I take the day off

When my wife has one

She takes a year off

HALF OF ALL MARRIAGES

 

Half of all marriages

Will end in divorce

Which just leaves the

Unhappy ones of course

DIETING TIP # 2

 

When you eat with someone else

Calories don't count for you

Just as long as you don’t eat

Any more food than they do

IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE + 1 CHANNELS

If you are going to have + 1 channels

There should be a – 1 for the viewer

Which would automatically erase anything

You may have recorded in error

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 250

Little Robin Redbreast sat upon a tree,

he makes a pretty picture, doesn’t he?

Little Robin Redbreast in the winter hard

He makes a pretty picture on a Christmas card

ARE YOU WEARING A SOMBRERO?

 

Are you wearing a sombrero?

Have you been somewhere in the sun?

I was told you were in Cahoots

I didn’t believe it for a second hon.

I told them you can’t go there alone

You have to be there with someone.