When a cop stopped me for speeding
They fined me one
hundred pounds
“I was only trying to
keep up with traffic”
But the traffic
officer stood his ground
Then he looked at me
and responded
“But there are no
other cars around”
“I know” I said “I was
doing a hundred
And I was still losing
ground
My Dad doesn’t go to the gym
And he hasn’t yet come
unstuck
As he gets all the
exercise he needs
Entirely by pushing my
luck
My wife wanted me at the birth
I had to grin and bear
it and pretend
Although I had to be
at the birth
I wasn’t going down
the tripey end
I stood and stared
open mouthed
Full of pride and with
regrets
As he came into the
world
Like a bag of
screaming jiblets
State sanctioned assassination
Of a foreign émigré
But Polonium poisoning
Seems a preposterous
way
To assassinate anyone
Whatever anyone might
say
When she was a young woman
She was a force of
nature
But she is a force to
be reckoned with
Now she is mature
If your staff tell you an
Incentive scheme is
desired
Say “I have one for
you”
Work hard or get fired
After my holiday
My inbox was full
And the backlog
Was diabolical
After four hours
However, it transpired
From an email I found
That I was fired
