NEW BABIES ARE DELIVERED BY STORK?

 

New babies are delivered by stork?

Not that old chestnut again

Small babies may arrive by stork

But the big ones need a crane

WHEN MY FIRST SON WAS BORN

 

My wife wanted me at the birth

I had to grin and bear it and pretend

Although I had to be at the birth

I wasn’t going down the tripey end

 

I stood and stared open mouthed

Full of pride and with regrets

As he came into the world

Like a bag of screaming jiblets

I REMEMBER LIKE YESTERDAY

 

I remember like yesterday

That cold and crispy morn

And just how proud I felt

On the day my son was born

OUR FAMILY PLANNING

 

There are only 13 months

Between my two little chaps

It was actually by design

As we didn’t want a big gap

So that’s why as part of the plan

My wife had a Caesarean

BIRTH DEFECT

 

A woman gave birth to a baby

And knew instantly that it was not right

“What’s wrong?” She asked the doctor

He said “your child is a hermaphrodite”

 

The woman had no idea what that was

But knew from his demeanour, it wasn’t good

The doctor hesitated before speaking

“It means the baby has more organs than it should”

 

“The baby is equipped as a man and a woman”

The doctor had to further explain

Before the woman finally understood

“You mean the baby has a penis and a brain”?