MY WIFE DOESN’T GO TO THE GYM # 3

 

My wife doesn’t go to the gym

She’s the fittest lass around

As she gets all the exercise she needs

Just from running people down

ROMAN CERES

 

Roman Ceres

Guardian of the harvest

Goddess of the corn

Mother of Proserpina

Goddess of fertility

Protector of matrimony

MY KIDS ARE STILL MAD AT ME

 

I put Ginger in the Casserole

I am in trouble as is the habit

I thought it was very tasty

But they really loved that rabbit

CHERYL COLE LIKE OTHER CELEBS

 

Cheryl Cole like other celebs

Feels she’d like to do her bit

And she wants to fight Malaria

Because you’re worth it

TWO OVERWEIGHT LADS

 

Two overweight lads were in the pub

“Your round” one of them suddenly said

The other one took instant offence and

Replied “So are you, you great fat head”

VOLCANOES ARE TERRIFYING

 

Volcanoes are terrifying

Just the thought of them is frightful

But pyroclastic eruptions

That’s just Nature at its most spiteful

WE WERE KIDS IN WORN OUT SHOES

 

We were kids in worn out shoes

And we’d gamble in one or twos

With liquorice and penny chews

On any contest we’d choose

But if we were then to lose

We’d sing the sweetie bar blues