I went into an
electrical shop
And could find no one
to assist
I got angrier and
angrier
Until finally I
couldn’t resist
“Can someone sell me a
toaster”
I shouted in a
frustrated tiz
A female assistant
said “Kenwood?”
I took a deep breath
and responded
“Let me explain
something Ms
I just want someone to
sell me a toaster
I don’t care what his
name is”
When good King Arthur ruled this land,
He was a goodly King;
But Lancelot did shag the Queen
And that was not the thing
So, he killed the Queen
but spared Lance
As he was still loyal
to his King
Are you wearing a carnation?
To mark you out at the
station
As you stand beneath
the clock
In your best evening
frock
Or do you keep it
under your cloak
Until you get a look
at the bloke
And if you don’t fancy
him
Do you throw it in the
bin?
Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just
scrounging off the state
But there is one
working as a Miner
He doesn’t really communicate
And it scares a lot of
the workers
When it says Excavate,
Excavate
One day you look in the mirror
And beneath the
lathers
You realize that the
face
You are shaving is
your fathers
Rather than eating chicken soup
Just laugh a little
every day
It’s much more
beneficial
Well, that’s what the
chickens say
Oh God I feel so old
Just send for the
undertaker
I’ve started making
the same noises
As my coffee maker
