I HAVE JUST HEARD THE LATEST NEWS

I have just heard the latest news

About the Pandemic, on the BBC

And I was shocked, an epidemic

Of wandering Pandas terrify me 

IN THE BBC NEWSROOM

 

In the BBC Newsroom

Just ahead of the action

The producer announces

“Lights Camera Fiction”

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 12

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working as an elocutionist

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the clients

When it says Enunciate, Enunciate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 11

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working as an un-packer

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the workers

When it says Extricate, Extricate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 10

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Hotel

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the Guests

When it says Remunerate, Remunerate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 9

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working as a Miner

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the workers

When it says Excavate, Excavate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 8

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the theme park

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the visitors

When it says Exhilarate, Exhilarate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 7

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at Tesco’s

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the shoppers

When it says Extortionate, Extortionate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 6

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Uni

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the debaters

When it says Expostulate, Expostulate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 5

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Old Bailey

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the Barristers

When it says Extenuate, Extenuate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 4

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Old Bailey

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the Barristers

When it says Exonerate, Exonerate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 3

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Vatican

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the devout

When it says Excommunicate, Excommunicate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 2

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at our uni

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the students

When it says “Extrapolate, Extrapolate”

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 1

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at our salon

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the customers

When it says “Exfoliate, exfoliate”

I’D DO ANYTHING

 

“I’d do anything” how apt a title

A motto for the wannabee

A catch phrase for the starstruck

And all those lacking dignity

I’D DO ANYTHING, REPRISE

 

Just another in a long line

Of talent shows from hell

Just another TV concept

Ringing out its death knell

 

But how clever is the Lord

To have the dear old BBC

Foot the bill for the auditions

Out of the TV license fee

 

Then the members of the public

Who vote as they view

Get to Pay via the phone-ins

For the shows advertising too

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 3

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Vatican

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the devout

When it says Excommunicate, Excommunicate

IN THE BBC NEWSROOM

 

In the BBC Newsroom

Just ahead of the action

The producer announces

“Lights Camera Fiction”

IN THE BBC NEWSROOM

 

In the BBC Newsroom

Just ahead of the action

The producer announces

“Lights Camera Fiction”

TELETUBBIES NEWS # 1

 

Breaking news, a Theme Park

For the Teletubbies is planned

But it only features one of them

It’s to be called Laa-Laa Land