Before
Well, you look a
little sallow
Right down to the
marrow
What you need is a
drop of sun
In a bottle I have the
very one
Just go into the salon
And you can put some
colour on
After
Well, my dear fellow
You’ve gone a little
yellow
I think a touch too
much
In fact, much too much
Of the prescribed fake
tan
How will you pay Mr
Marzipan?
The hand on the knee
No, the bland of the
tea
Or the stand of the
tree
The gland of the pea
Or the band of the
free
No, the sand of the
flea
The brand of the ski
No, it’s the Land of
the Free
The Sandman's coming
In his train of cars
Think! Tiredness kills
Stop at the next
services
Pretty little Mary
Lives on the prairie
And works in the dairy
Her routine doesn’t
vary
Pretty little Mary
Skips like a fairy
Sings like a canary
But is cautiously wary
Pretty little Mary
Is on the contrary
Really rather hairy
And a little bit scary
Are you wearing a body stocking?
Something chic, sheer
and shocking
Sexy all in one and
figure hugger
I bet your bum still
looks like a mugger
A young lady I met in the street
Asked of me “Sir, do
you tweet”?
I answered, “No, of
course not
But I have to say I do
trump a lot.”
At my age I can safely say
I do not need more
gizmo’s
Labour saving thingamajigs
And gadgetry
so-and-sos
The garage
door opener
And the TV remote
With those two things
I can just about cope
And I sometimes find
Though they are useful
I get them mixed up
To be quite truthful
