SENIOR DILEMMA

 

Why is it that as I get older

My brain cells are dying

But my fat cells

Just keep on multiplying

NORMAL SERVICE HAS BEEN RESUMED

 

Now I’ve had my sight restored

Thanks to the surgeon’s precision

I finally appreciate the worth

Of TV in High Definition

After spending so many years

Watching TV in Monet vision

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 72

 

Ladybird, ladybird fly away home,

Or soon our own species will be gone

Fly back across the sea so blue

And take your extra spots with you

NHS CUT BACKS # 10

 

The NHS has plans to save money

Which may leave the institution blighted

Audiologists haven’t heard a thing

And Ophthalmologists think them short sighted

Plastic Surgeons are being two faced

But Pathologists are dead against change

Podiatrists think them a step backwards

While Psychiatrists think them deranged

IT’S A MUST-O

 

You said you were not fussed-o

When I said I’m full of lust-o

Oh, let me fondle at your bust-o

Then we can go at it with gusto

You said Well if you really must-o

Come and exorcise your lust-o

OMG

OMG your tits are huge

Firm and round

And gravity defying

Not resting on the ground

 

OMG your tits are astounding

So, pleasing to the touch

A couple of beauties

To adoringly clutch

 

OMG bad for your posture

Is that what they say?

Well, a little back pain

Is a small price to pay

IN HER SILK NIGHTDRESS

In her silk nightdress

Each movement made the surface

Ripple like fresh milk