MY DEAR OLD MOTHER

 

My dear old mother

Recently passed away

But it came to my attention

Only the other day

That she was in fact killed

By a “Mrs A”

ANAPHYLAXIS

 

I had to go to the hospital today

After I had been stung by a bee

And my head really swelled up

But the doctors said not to worry

It was just caused by anaphylaxis

Which I have to say surprised me

Because I went to school with her

And I thought she really liked me

NORMAL SERVICE HAS BEEN RESUMED

 

Now I’ve had my sight restored

Thanks to the surgeon’s precision

I finally appreciate the worth

Of TV in High Definition

After spending so many years

Watching TV in Monet vision

NHS CUT BACKS # 10

 

The NHS has plans to save money

Which may leave the institution blighted

Audiologists haven’t heard a thing

And Ophthalmologists think them short sighted

Plastic Surgeons are being two faced

But Pathologists are dead against change

Podiatrists think them a step backwards

While Psychiatrists think them deranged

NHS CUT BACKS # 9

The NHS has plans to save money

But it is unclear who will oppose the plans

Radiologists can see through them

But the Surgeons just washed their hands

Hospital managers had a meeting and claimed

It will be a steep learning curve

While the Urologists wet themselves.

And the Neurologists lost their nerve

NHS CUT BACKS # 8

 

The NHS has plans to save money

Paediatricians think them too tough

But their complaints have been rejected

As they are not considered grown up enough

NHS CUT BACKS # 1

 

The NHS has plans to save money

As they are strapped for cash

The plans have got up the Allergists noses

And Dermatologists think them rash