My son wants a spider
For his approaching
birthday
I’m giving it some
thought
I’ve not said yay or
nay
Well, I checked the
price
At a well-known pet
shop
And when they said £90
Wow did my jaw drop
But he’s dead set on a
spider
Won’t accept anything
instead
So, if he really wants
a spider
I’ll get a cheap one
off the web
I have always told my children
And I told them again
last night, quite late
That I didn’t want to
live
In a vegetative state
To be given fluids
from a bottle,
Dependent on a
machine, no matter how up to date
So, they took away my
glass of wine
And unplugged my
computer, the ingrates
Apple have cancelled the launch
Of a new iPod aimed at
kids
But due to negative
feedback
The project is on the
skids
It’s believed the
product
Alas, poor Derek! I blew him, Fellatio: a fellow
of infinite zest, of most excellent fancy: then he hath
boned me on my back a thousand times;
Well, they just arrested a paedophile
Who would look at the
children and drool
He was in the
children’s playground
And was caught playing
with his tool
But credit where
credit is due
He always drove slowly
past the school
Here's the church, and here's the steeple
Open the door and see all the people.
No it’s not a church anymore you see
But another place to
drink coffee
I don’t have a favourite,
I love each and every
one
Whether happy or sad
Cheerful or glum
I love Pally Sally
And Meaner Tina
Cranky Frankie
And Keener Meena
I love Messy Jesse
And Smiley Kylie
Tiara Clara
And Tidy Heidi
I love Buffy Duffy
And Flexi Alexie
Moanie Joanie
And Sexy Lexie
I love Irate Kate
And Funny Honey
Every one of them
Is on the money
