ALAS POOR HAMLET

 

Alas, poor Derek! I blew him, Fellatio: a fellow

of infinite zest, of most excellent fancy: then he hath

boned me on my back a thousand times;

KIDDIE FIDDLER

 

Well, they just arrested a paedophile

Who would look at the children and drool

He was in the children’s playground

And was caught playing with his tool

But credit where credit is due

He always drove slowly past the school

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 61

 

Here's the church, and here's the steeple

Open the door and see all the people.

No it’s not a church anymore you see

But another place to drink coffee

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 9

 

I don’t have a favourite,

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love Pally Sally

And Meaner Tina

Cranky Frankie

And Keener Meena

 

I love Messy Jesse

And Smiley Kylie

Tiara Clara

And Tidy Heidi

 

I love Buffy Duffy

And Flexi Alexie

Moanie Joanie

And Sexy Lexie

 

I love Irate Kate

And Funny Honey

Every one of them

Is on the money

HOW DO YOU MAKE A FRUIT FLY?

 

How do you make a fruit fly?

Well first a ticket you need to buy

Then give him a good snort

And then take him to the airport

ICE CREAM PARLOUR # 2

 

I went to the ice cream parlour

And ordered an ice cream sundae

“Hundreds & thousands?” he asked

“No, I’ll just have the one for today”

MARGE AT LARGE

 

Marjorie was a clairvoyant

Of diminutive stature

Imprisoned for fraud

Or something of that nature

But she escaped

They couldn’t hold on to Marge

The police now seek

A small medium at large