Walkers’ crisps should be forced to comply
With trade description
legislation
And stop disappointing
their customers
With their artificial
flavourization
When purchasing a bag
of Walkers crisps
The refined palate of
an epicurean
Would be gravely
disappointed if they did not
Taste of Rambler,
Hiker or Pedestrian
When Artie Shaw
Was the King of Swing
His liquorice stick
Was made to sing
With a beat
To tap your toe too
Or melodies
To serenade you
Swing to get the kids
A jumping
Tunes to get the blood
A pumping
Artie Shaw and his
Tuneful clarinet
The King of Swing
Was as good as they
get
“You probably get this quite a lot I expect,
So I’ll make it quick
and not prolong,
Aren’t you the chap
who invented Tippex?,
You are, are you not;
correct me if I’m wrong”
I have a favourite type of girl,
I love my lady’s trim
Like Skinny Ginny
And Ultra slim Kim
I love them thin and
bony
Not a hint of saggy
I like Scrawny Dawny
And Scraggy Maggie
Lovely Lean Jean
Or Slender Brenda
For the nearer the
bone
Is sweetest and tender
Sir Cumference of Camelot
Could eclipse the sun
in the sky
With the bulk of his
obesity
Though he didn’t know
why
His physician warned
him that
Left unchecked he
would die
But he had a hearty
appetite
And that was the
reason why
Sir Cumference of
Camelot
Could eclipse the sun
in the sky
And the immensity of
his girth
I’ve lost all of my tropical fish
And it’s my neighbour
I have to thank
Because he plays his
music so loud
It caused a tsunami in
my fish tank
I start in the morning
With a spring in my step
Like an excited puppy
Full of vigour and pep
But at the end of the
day
I walk with a heavier
step
And feel less like a
puppy
And more like “old
shep”
