SOLICITING

 

A lady of the night

Was arrested by a cop

For selling herself

At a busy, truck stop

 

“I am not selling myself”

She told her accuser
“I am selling condoms

With a free applicator”

BIRTH DEFECT

 

A woman gave birth to a baby

And knew instantly that it was not right

“What’s wrong?” She asked the doctor

He said “your child is a hermaphrodite”

 

The woman had no idea what that was

But knew from his demeanour, it wasn’t good

The doctor hesitated before speaking

“It means the baby has more organs than it should”

 

“The baby is equipped as a man and a woman”

The doctor had to further explain

Before the woman finally understood

“You mean the baby has a penis and a brain”?

SENIOR TRUTH

If I must tell the truth about getting old,

Then I shall put all my cards on the table

Even when I’m naked I still want to

Slip into something more comfortable 

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 46

 

Red sky at night,

Arsonist’s delight;

Red sky at morning,

Four-minute warning.

ROMANTIC GESTURE

 

My wife told me to be more romantic

And to book a table for Valentine’s Day

When we arrived at the snooker hall

I can tell you there was all hell to pay

CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY

 

In the event that your nose runs

And your feet smell

Just consider the possibility

That you might be upside down

I’M BUSY DOING NOTHING

 

At breakfast my wife asked me

What I was doing today

“Nothing” I replied to her

“But you did nothing yesterday”

She informed me

“And now you’re doing it again today”

I replied “I’m not doing nothing, again

I didn’t finish doing it yesterday”