LAST NIGHT I ASKED A SEX WORKER

 

Last night I asked a sex worker

“What do you charge for a handy?”

She replied “Roughly 50 quid”

I winced and replied “And gently?”

SAILORS FIGHTING IN A DANCE HALL

 

Two sailors where fighting

Over a prostitute on the dance floor

They both had one arm each

In a bizarre game of Tug-of-whore

STEALING AN EMBRACE

 

If you have sex with a prostitute

And leave without paying

Is there a specific law in statute?

Or is it just like shoplifting

COMING OF AGE

 

When I was still but a boy

I went to visit a house of joy

And although I had to pay

I would honestly have to say

That for a coming of age event

It was the best quid I ever spent

SOLICITING

 

A lady of the night

Was arrested by a cop

For selling herself

At a busy, truck stop

 

“I am not selling myself”

She told her accuser
“I am selling condoms

With a free applicator”

FEELING A BIT GINGER

 

There is a Ginger girl I see

Whom I see professionally

In a strictly sexual capacity

 

She is a lady of the night

A tart or a hooker, called Delight

Ok she’s a prostitute, alright?

 

But I call my sweet little ho

The dirty Ginger girl I know

My Orange pay as you go

 

YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR CAKE

 

The upstairs flat has been sublet

Above our local patisserie

To an attractive young woman

Who wears exotic lingerie

Her pursuits are in nature erotic

Ok she’s a prostitute I will admit

But there are advantages to this

As you can eat your cake and have it