He was in such a pother
Such was the lot of
the suitor
For he was to ask for
his lady’s hand
Well that was what he
had planned
But he was in such a
nervous state
He couldn’t get his
head straight
He was sure she would
be receptive
But signs can be
deceptive
So he resolved to do
what was planned
And ask for his lady’s
hand
Although to be
perfectly fare
He was more interested
in the rest of her
Have you always been partial to a skinny red head?
But you married a
twenty stone brunette instead
Have you always
hankered for someone small and petite?
Instead, you married a
woman with size ten feet
Were you attracted to
intelligent women with wit?
But instead, you
married some uncouth twit
Did you always fancy a
girl with figure that swings?
But instead, you’re
stuck with miss bingo wings
Do you ever think your
perfect woman got away?
Well, you are not
alone because I think it every day
A rather tall, elegant woman
Entered the room
And made a quick
appraisal
Of those in her
presence
The look she gave my
way
Needed no vocalization
She had no need to say
“ugh”
The look made
redundant
Any need of an
exclamation of disgust
The haughty expression
And the inclination of
her head,
The involuntary sneer
Spoke volumes as to
her disposition
Which was fine by me
Because I liked the
look of her mate
She strutted down the catwalk
In an outfit to make
the critics talk
It was called simply
“Iridescence”
And had a lustrous,
brilliant appearance
Her outfit was called
the wonder of the age
I think I’d prefer
something in beige
Jo the trumpet
The musical strumpet
She was crumpet
But her lips were hard
and dry
Jo with the deep voice
Oh how I rejoice
She was so very choice
With no Adams apple
I’m pleased To say
Jo with the flat chest
Had nothing inside her
vest
But I was still
blessed
For she had other
attributes
Jo with the all over
tan
Jo Jo the can can
The perfect gift for
man
Had a beautiful white
toothed smile
Jo the pretty faced
With the narrow waist
Was to everyone’s
taste
Even the other Jo’s
Jimmy was in his seventies
And took himself a
young wife
His biggest concern
was fatherhood
At his time of life
“What birth control
would you suggest?
Which would be best
for me?”
He asked his doctor,
who replied
“I think in your case,
nudity”
Gillian finished her first week at school
And had a very unhappy
look on her face
She said to her mum
who was showing concern
“I’m just wasting my
time at that place”
Mum asked her “why
ever do you think that?”
Then Gillian exploded
in an angry squawk
“Well mother I can't read,
and I can't write,
