Joshua was caught talking to a friend during assembly
“What do you call a person” asked the headmaster
“Who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested”?
Joshua thought and to great applause he said “A teacher”
Friday, 4 March 2022
THE MAN AINT GOT NO CULTURE
My friend reads cheap fiction
Consuming it like a
vulture
But he’s not a stupid
man
He simply has no
culture
In fact, the closest
he gets
To any form of
cultural flirt
Would be when he
partakes
In his favourite
yogurt
Thursday, 3 March 2022
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 36
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so, to please the
two of them
They eat vegetarian
cuisine
PUT DOWN # 35
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“If you’re looking for loving” he might say
“Then I’m definitely
your man”
Just reply to him “Sorry,
but after meeting you
I'm thinking of
becoming a lesbian”
SENIOR COLUMN
I wake up in the morning
But don’t get out of
bed
Until I’ve read the
obit’s
And made sure that I’m
not dead
THE FAMILY WAY
I loved her right from the start
Willingly gave her all
my heart
And when she walked
down the aisle
I could do nothing at
all but smile
When we moved into our
flat
I thought to myself,
that was that
Once we had our home
together
We would just grow old
together
Then I saw the
pregnancy tester
When she had reached
the first Trimester
And then came another
level of joy
We would have a little
girl of boy
Now I may have tended
to fuss
My devotion may have
been uxorious
But she was all
important in my life
So, I fussed around my
primiparous wife
And when the great day
finally came
We still hadn’t even
settled on a name
But our daughter
blessed our union
And I had two loves to
dote upon
BINGO, BANGO, BONGO
I will call up my Dolly
To be alone would be
folly
Perhaps I’ll call
Holly
But should I call
Polly
Or little miss Molly
To call all might be a
folly
But an interesting
volley
What a prospect by
golly
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