We have no wealth or treasure
Yet we are rich beyond
measure
We have our health and
welfare
And have loved ones
who care
Our riches cannot be
spent
Nor can their great
value be lent
Against coin they
cannot be compared
For our riches can
easily be shared
Our riches are our
family and friends
Whose infinite value
knows no ends
We have no wealth or
treasure
Yet we are rich beyond
measure
Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall,
One named Peter, one named Paul.
Fly away Peter, away said Paul,
Don’t come back, this is my wall!
If you go to a seafood disco
For a tango and a
tussle
Don’t complain about
bad luck
If you only pull a
muscle
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“If you want a good time” he might say
“Then I’m your man”
Just reply to him “Really?
Then I might as well
become a lesbian”
A senior couple were lying in bed one morning.
Just as a new day was dawning
Having had the most
perfect nights sleep
Long, restful,
undisturbed and deep
The old gentleman
turned to his wife and asked
“Would you like a cup
of tea?”
She lay perfectly still
in the same position
“NO! Of course I don’t
want a cup of tea”
Surprised by her vehemence he asked “Why not?”
She answered, “Because I'm dead”
“What are you talking about? Of course you’re not
What put such a
thought in your head?”
“It’s no good you
arguing with me about it
I have no doubt at
all. I am definitely dead,
And that’s it and all
about it, because
I woke up this morning
and nothing hurts” she said
A woman is like a hurricane
Whether your partner
or your spouse
When she comes she’s
hot and wet
When she leaves she
takes half the house
Since I’ve been retired
I’ve noticed that my
hips
Are more accurate
forecasters
Than those met office
twits
