Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall,
One named Peter, one named Paul.
Fly away Peter, away said Paul,
Don’t come back, this is my wall!
Wednesday, 2 March 2022
DAVY JONES DISCO
If you go to a seafood disco
For a tango and a
tussle
Don’t complain about
bad luck
If you only pull a
muscle
PUT DOWN # 34
Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
“If you want a good time” he might say
“Then I’m your man”
Just reply to him “Really?
Then I might as well
become a lesbian”
DEAD CERTAIN
A senior couple were lying in bed one morning.
Just as a new day was dawning
Having had the most
perfect nights sleep
Long, restful,
undisturbed and deep
The old gentleman
turned to his wife and asked
“Would you like a cup
of tea?”
She lay perfectly still
in the same position
“NO! Of course I don’t
want a cup of tea”
Surprised by her vehemence he asked “Why not?”
She answered, “Because I'm dead”
“What are you talking about? Of course you’re not
What put such a
thought in your head?”
“It’s no good you
arguing with me about it
I have no doubt at
all. I am definitely dead,
And that’s it and all
about it, because
I woke up this morning
and nothing hurts” she said
WHIRLWIND ROMANCE
A woman is like a hurricane
Whether your partner
or your spouse
When she comes she’s
hot and wet
When she leaves she
takes half the house
SENIOR FORCAST
Since I’ve been retired
I’ve noticed that my
hips
Are more accurate
forecasters
Than those met office
twits
BITCHIN’ BABE
Wow as you passed slowly by
You really caught my
eye
With your figure so
top class
Can I grope and
squeeze your arse?
You have a very ample
chest
Can I fumble inside
your vest?
Are you moist beneath
the waist?
Will you let me have a
taste?
Oh, your hips gyrate
and tease
Let me split your
whiskers please
Let me leave you in a
state of bliss
If not, I will gladly
settle for a kiss
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)