21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 28

 

Doctor Foster

Went to Gloucester

On a railway train

But he got in a muddle

And got off at Bristol

And said “Oh shit not again”

PUT DOWN # 27

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he should say to you

“I could do things to you that you wouldn’t believe”

Simply reply to him

“Really? If I throw a stick, will you leave?'

PLAYING DRESS UP

To surprise her husband and add some spice

She dressed in tight black leather Basque

Six-inch stilettos heels, black stockings

Black garter belt and a leather mask

When he walked through the door he said

“Oi Batman what’s for dinner may I ask”? 

THE NINE MUSES OF THE ARTS – ERATO (MUSE OF EROTIC POETRY)

 

The nine muses

Daughters of Zeus

Inspiring of mortals

And nurturers of the arts

The third was,

The divine Erato,

Desired and lovely,

Was the muse of the lyric poets

A golden arrow in her hand

Muse of love verse

And of Erotic poetry

Erato the muse who charms the sight

And inspires love in everybody

ROAD HOGS

 

Some drivers are so selfish

And some are arrogant with it

It seems that when they buy a car

They think the road comes with it

BEACH ETIQUETTE

 

A naked man sunbathing at the beach

In order to preserve his dignity

And protect it from the sun

Placed his hat over his thingamy

 

A passing woman smiled and said

“A gentleman would lift his hat for a lady”

He replied “If you get your kit off

Madam it will raise itself, maybe”

DEFYING GRAVITY # 1

 

With such widespread use of breast implants

There will surely come a time in the next 50 years

When there will be a large octogenarian population

Of confused and befuddled perky breasted grandmas