ARE YOU WEARING A DIAPER?

 

Are you wearing a Diaper?

Well, if that’s what you wish

But have you become incontinent?

Or is it just some kind of fetish

ARE YOU WEARING A NAPPY?

 

Are you wearing a nappy?

Well, if that’s what you wish

But have you become incontinent?

Or is it just some kind of fetish

ARE YOU WEARING PINK? # 2

 

Are you wearing a Pink?

Oh, I understand that wink

My pretty little Barbie girl

As you give me a twirl

What you’re intimating I think

Is that everything is pink

And it’s an image to bewitch

When you hint at every stitch

ARE YOU WEARING SEXY GARB?

 

Are you wearing sexy garb?

Well bless your heart I’m glad

But you wasted your time

Trying to look sexy is mad

You were sexy already, there

Was nothing you had to add

ARE YOU WEARING PATENT LEATHER BOOTS?

 

Are you wearing patent leather boots?

Well, I’m as open minded as any other

But really? Thigh length leather boots

When we’re burying your mother

ARE YOU WEARING AN APRON?

 

Are you wearing an apron?

It’s very pretty and frilly

It’s not very big though

Just enough to cover your Willy

ARE YOU WEARING SPANX?

Are you wearing spanx?

I thought that was the case

Because you’ve got a fat neck

And a very red face 

ARE YOU WEARING A CASSOCK?

 

Are you wearing a cassock?

As you kneel on a hassock

I wonder what it’s concealing

As you’re reverently kneeling

One day I might get to see

As you change in the vestry

ARE YOU WEARING A ONESIE? # 2

 

Are you wearing a onesie?

I didn’t know you were the type

But you have surprised me

And yes, I like the tiger stripe

It’s rather a shapeless thing

Am I being picky and choosy?

To be honest I don’t like it

But I’d like to see your twosie

PLAYING DRESS UP

To surprise her husband and add some spice

She dressed in tight black leather Basque

Six-inch stilettos heels, black stockings

Black garter belt and a leather mask

When he walked through the door he said

“Oi Batman what’s for dinner may I ask”? 

ARE YOU WEARING A ONESIE? # 2

 

Are you wearing a onesie?

I didn’t know you were the type

But you have surprised me

And yes I like the tiger stripe

It’s rather a shapeless thing

Am I being picky and choosy?

To be honest I don’t like it

But I’d like to see your twosie

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 3

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play Doctors and Nurses

I was up for it even when

She told me about the role reverses

 

But when I dressed up in a uniform

With a starched white apron

She buggered off to play

Eighteen holes with a surgeon

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 2

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play hospitals

I thought phwor

 

But she gave me an enema

And now I don’t want

To play anymore

ARE YOU WEARING A TOGA?

 

Are you wearing a toga?

I don’t want to be an ogre

But you’ll be a hit alright

At the house party tonight

As everyone will be knowing.

Because you will be showing

That beneath the flowing robes

You have unfettered globes

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 1

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play hospitals

I thought phwor

 

But all she did was

Lay me on a trolley

And leave me in a corridor

THE CARPENTERS

 

My wife said to me

Let’s play carpenter’s

So, we got hammered

Then I nailed her